My Story, My Struggle!

There are so many things I wanted to do

My Intentions were all good

My efforts were all real

Perhaps not enough though

Perhaps not well directed

So everything I tried to do

I could not be good

I could not be average

I could not be bad

I was simply poor

Not good enough to be remembered

Not average enough to be known and discarded

Not bad enough to be forgotten

Just poor—to be remembered and to be reminded

So, I grew-up under confident and half-hearted.

I am grown up now,

Not a child no more and definitely not old

Pushed in to the wild wide world

Yet, when I see all across, I find

They all better me somehow

Those days were better,

My childhood days

They passed like a dream, and though mediocre

I would close my eyes and live in oblivion

Under the protection of my father’s hand

On the lap of my mother’s love

Covered by the affection of my elder sister

But again I find myself standing poor

Again trying once more

Again being bettered by starters

Again at loss, scuttling blindly

Being pushed back more in darkness and falling endlessly

In to a never ending abyss, and I cannot recover

Each night I feel like coiling myself in to a cocoon

And going in to an endless sleep.

Each day while I fall deeper in to an abyss

I look at the smiling faces all around me

And I can feel one thing

Unlike these wise bystanders

I never say no, a bit too stubborn, I take the blows

Although I fall nearly every time and rarely score

Yet, I stand up, and take on more

Perhaps, because I am not fighting my opponent

Because I am not competing against anyone

But myself, trying to find an answer

When I know I have it, why am I not better!