Two Decades and Half

Just yesterday, I would never remember when

But I know it was yesterday, it was all alive

The grace of her eyes, the love in her heart

The blessings in his shadows

The few arms that have been around

A few hands that have added along the way

The wandering eyes, the smiles

The words echo even today

But mostly as impressions, shaded

As if Negatives have come to life

Colorless flashes and faded

My shadows in play all the time

Leaves this feeling of being scrutinized

Of being watched by a pair of familiar eyes

Just yesterday and even today I can't tell how

It is all still there and I know it has grown

Being nurtured, tended, and attended well

With gratitude my heart swells

I can only thank my stars

And the Lady Luck who smiles upon

For watching over me this far

For keeping me going on for so long

Never hurt, damaged or injured

No dagger has ever breached my heart

Yet today I stand ripped apart

Although nothing is lost, something has changed

Despite everything being better, I feel estranged

Measure by measure, I have weighed my life

Moment by moment, I have seen myself fall

I have seen myself falling short every time

And I still do not know where I am after all

Two decades and half have passed

And I have still not answered my call

The poet: This is difficult; I have tried, at least thought many times, to revive this blog. June 25, 2008 was the date I had posted my first post. Since then, 6 years have passed and only 5 posts feature in the blog. Time has changed, I have changed. I was in college second year then, and now it has been more than three years that I have been working. We have relocated, my sister has got married; there have been new associations personally and professionally, few most wonderful and some not so much. Few old relationships have revived, few have parted, and many have strengthened. There has been a new addition in the family as well, ie, Butch my stupid rottweiler. My parents are growing old; we do fear the inevitable. However, there has not yet been any crisis as such. I have been extremely fortunate and these have been most luckiest years of mine. However, I have increasingly realized to be a misfit in this world, and as a result, I feel lost. That is the crux of it: two decades and half has passed, and these years have created an ever-widening void within me. Perhaps on a later date, I will go in to the nuances of the poem, if I continue to come back. But for today it is period. Just a parting thought: May 4, 1989, to May 4, 2014, have been the best 25 years of my life. I have been most fortunate and lucky! I just believe 2015 onward, the worst will begin, but that only time will tell.

Till the next time, this is me signing of.

Adios

Subhankar De

aka

Dark-Knight