Possessed!

The poem:

She sits there solitary

Leant on the wall

Her mind is wandering slowly

But her face shows nothing at all

Solitary she is, she thinks

But she is not, she would never find

For my eyes, catch her every blink

Flashes on her all the time

She laughs, all eyes on her

While they look at her sides

I stare straight deep in her

I search her deep inside

She stands in-group talking

And her hand slips in his

My eyes can't help missing

What others eyes may miss.

She goes with him, in and out of places

Places known but unexplored like desires

She often fills his empty spaces,

 Her heat of pleasure sets me on fire

Her filling of his empty spaces

Leaves me gasping for breath

Though air is all around me

But I feel suffocated to death

She comes in late deliberately

And soon after, he follows

I just sit watch and can’t stop

From wanting to put him to gallows

He carelessly touches her she tingles

 She tingles and I shudder

He caress his way in to her arms

As I contemplate a murder

 

 She talks till late and she sleeps

I exist in darkness of her covers

All the words she whispers and speaks

Are what I wanted to hear since ever

She speaks not to me but to him

In darkness when she thinks, she’s alone

  She doesn’t realizes in darkness of night

I wander by her, in her home

She knows and is aware of my presence

She talks to me sometimes, and smiles

Next, she walks off with him in my ‘absence’

Leaving me betrayed and hurt every time

You would believe she is possessed

Possessed by me, my spirit, my soul

Followed by me in her daily journeys

Haunted in nights by my ghost

But she is ignorant of me, for when she cried

For when she was in tears and in pain,

I was torn apart and hopelessly I tried

But I didn’t matter, my efforts went in vain

I always knew, but then best I realized

The limits of my physicality

My spirit could search her with my mind

But I never existed for her in reality

 I am real, tangible and destructible

I’m no ghost spirit or wandering soul

I don’t haunt places, follow people

I smile, I cry, and I laugh like all

And it is I, who is possessed

Possessed by her all this time

She has become a part of me

Of my thoughts of heart and plans of mind

And it is she, who has possessed me

Ruled my heart and my head

Has kept me awake nights after nights,

Just feeling her by my bed. 

 The poet: The purpose of this blog is not to blog my accomplishments, which is in reality equivalent to nothing. The purpose of this blog (one of them) is to blog my journey. And here is one attempt which I am not happy with. Yet I share with you all for every effort is another step in my journey. I, to begin with, failed to convert the idea I had in to reality convincingly. One of my good friend of the undergraduate college days clearly and quite correctly pointed out that it does not feel that the "I" in the poem haunts the girl and it is only through  the lines of "You would believe she is possessed...Haunted in nights by my ghost" that the idea is forcibly introduced in the minds of reader. The other thing I am guilty of is that I read an absolute sensational poem by someone in one of the social communities and I was so much affected by one of the lines "I contemplate a murder" that I could not keep it behind. I may have spoiled the beauty of the line in the process. I would have loved to given him the credits but somehow I am unable to locate the poem and the poet. I will try and see if I can find it. There are a number of other failures in this work of mine and others that I posted. As i went down the memory lane I found that my poems "Unwanted...she lies there" "Power" and few other being heavily criticized. I admit these poems never matched the standard that these guys appreciated. I feel dejected some how for these futile efforts for all I get out of it is failed poetry... Poetic is it? 
Thanks

Adios 

Subhankar De 

Aka

Dark-Knight